Ep 114: Janelle's Update: "It's Selfish If I Don't Ask for My Desires."

Janelle shares personal updates and insights on her life at the moment. She discusses her new living arrangements and the impact of her housemate, Arianna, on her creative expression. She discusses the significance of homeopathy and her experiences with ancestral connections during Samhain. The conversation also touches on grief, family dynamics, and the importance of asking for help in pursuing one's desires. Shout outs to John Wolfsone, Dãmsa Germiane and Sophie Howell. You’ll hear:

-How Janelle sees people as keys that unlock parts of her

-The magic of homeopathy as a vibrational approach to healing

-Why remembering our ancestors can help us feel more stable

-How everyone is connected to her desire to go to New Zealand

-Language shapes our reality and can influence our outcomes

Learn more about Janelle at feelwildlyalive.com

TRANSCRIPT:

Janelle Orion 0:00

Janelle, struggling to discuss sex and intimacy with your partner, not feeling met, seen or heard in your relationships. I'm Janelle And I'm Andrea. We're two midlife Mavericks sharing our own experiences, messy, AF and no regrets with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. We've learned that when you're brave enough to figure out what you want and ask for it, with partners, friends, family and most importantly, yourself, you'll feel more alive and free question everything, especially your mother's advice. There's no rom com formula for this. But don't panic. Being alone matters, honey, I can't miss you if you don't leave, what if your breakup could be your breakthrough? Our podcast is for brave hearts. Anyone who seeks or has found the courage to confront their fears and limiting beliefs about breaking societal norms in the spirit of finding their truth. If you're seeking permission to be brave in your relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

Janelle Orion 1:07

Hi, brave hearts, welcome to permission to be human. I'm Andrea and I'm Janelle, and we're back here post season five, and as we always now do, we're starting to give you updates about us in between seasons, because, boy, things change fast. Life is impermanent, and we are always moving and shaking and dancing our way forward. And yeah, so we're in between seasons. And first up is Janelle, yeah. And when one of the signs that you know it's an in between podcast is because we're wearing spirit crowns made by the fabulous Sophie Howell. Here's mine today, and these are pieces of art that are inspired by your higher self. And Sophie is an incredible artist and Coach, and we're going to, you're going to hear me talk about her today too. But anyway, so yeah, and you can wear your spirit crowns anywhere you want. If you want to get your own, you can go to spirit crowns.com There's all different spirit crowns. No two are the same. And okay, so our updates, what is going on with us and what's going on with you. Janelle, where do you want to start? I guess really, the last update would have been prior to season five, so three months ago, and so it's what's been going on for me in the past three months. Number one I want to start with is the goddess temple. I have a new housemate. I can't remember if I mentioned her or not. Her name is oriona, and she has moved in. We actually interviewed her on a podcast in how to build a relationship with self series, yeah, and she moved in the summer, and she is a sacred sex priestess as well as a naturopath doctor as well as a musician, as well as a songwriter, as well as a singer, as a freestyle rapper, as a writer. She is absolutely incredible. I call her the multimedia Goddess, and I have really thoroughly enjoyed living with her. The thing that I have figured out for myself about my living arrangements and how my life is, is I have had many people that I would call like spirit guides, who, as a result of the relationship, it has unlocked A part of me, like in a significant part. So for example, I would say that my parents unlocked my soul when I was born, my very first like deep friendship Anastasia, she unlocked my sisterhood qualities. My friend Jeannie unlocked my entrepreneur when I worked with her for 15 years. Andra you unlocked my voice and my speaking through this podcast. Sophie Howell unlocked my patron. What is a patron in this context? So a patron can be interpreted different ways, but in this way is that my desire to see more art in the world. So Sophie is an artist, so I paid her to commission art pieces for the goddess temple, and in that way, I am the patron of the artist. Okay, love it. All right, yeah. So keep going. I think you had some more people you wanted to talk you want to talk about, yes, so damassa unlocked my ritualist. Memphis unlocked my heart. Zaya unlocked my legacy, Spirit, Son and what oriona has unlocked for me is my artist. We. She did a ritual kink theater performance here at the goddess temple. It's one of the things that she was really excited about. And I was a yes to because I'm yes to most things, but I wasn't sure that I was, like, super excited about it, but I was, like, totally willing to participate. But in the participation, the planning, as well as in the performance itself, I found so much joy. I was in such radiance. I loved it so much. It was God, just a totally new part of me. You know, I got to get dressed up. There was significance to the performance. There was this ritual aspect to it. So there was, like a meaning I love immersive theater personally, and so this is an immersive experience for the audience. So it just like hit all these different parts of me that I had never considered as parts of me that I love. Yeah, beautiful. I love that. So curious. Did you feel like you called in these people that unlocked these different parts of you? Or do you feel like they were delivered to you by the universe? How did they come into your life? I said that's the same thing. Or whether the universe is delivering them to me, it's the same thing? Yeah, I don't necessarily agree, though, because sometimes I don't call someone in and they just appear. Other times I do call someone in and they appear. Maybe it's not a conscious calling in, like I wasn't, like, I need a best friend who's going to unlock my sisterhood gene, right? Or, like, I need the person like you to help me figure out to do a podcast and open up my throat. So I'm definitely not calling in that way. But my heart is open, and when someone presents themselves, I tend to like feel something, and when that feeling is there, it's just like a I'm an immediate yes to whatever wants to unfold. So I think what I'm hearing with that, which I think is really important for Braveheart, important for Bravehearts, in that sometimes we don't specifically call things in, but I think you're defining calling in as being open hearted and expansive enough to notice what's coming to you, to recognize the abundance, right? Yes, like when someone, when I feel really drawn to someone that is a sign for me to like, have my eyes open to what's here, beautiful. And this whole list that I just created only came through a month ago after I did this ritual King theater, when I realized that that my artist got unlocked in the presence of oriona, who's an artist, and then it had me think back about all these other people, and where I said, like, Oh, this is what's so exciting about how I've chosen to live, which is at the goddess temple with a housemate. And we'll talk more about this, actually, in our next episode, when we talk about relationships, but my living arrangement allows me to, like, every year or two, have someone else move in, and then I have a whole different experience of myself. Yeah, and this reminds me of an important principle I think we've covered in the past, but just came up for me again, while I believe we can't have a conscious and whole relationship with another unless we have a conscious and whole relationship with ourselves, I have had to be in relationship to discover my whole self and to become whole. And so there's a little bit of a trick there, right? Well, what? But that's beautiful. What you just described, and what, also, what I feel like is like, oh my gosh, I'm infinite, because there are parts of me that are yet to be discovered because I haven't interacted with a person who is going to like, be the key. I am the key. I'm the treasure. I'm all the things. And yet there is to your point in relationship, something else blossoms. I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm an artist. So like, what else? What else am I? And that will continue to reveal itself beautiful. So that's been one exciting thing that's revealed itself in the past few months. The other thing about oriona is that she's a naturopathic doctor with a specialty in homeopathy. I know nothing about homeopathy. In fact, I don't even know if I've really even heard about it until she moved in. I don't have a naturopathic doctor. I just, I have my OB GYN, and it's pretty much it. And I'm a dermatologist, right? I'm actually, I've, although I've seen some Eastern medicine, I've done, I've seen an acupuncturist, that's probably it. It is funny. It's very interesting that the woo had not trickled its way into your medical and healthcare world. Yes, it. Possibly because I'm overall, have been pretty healthy, and when I have had an issue, I either, like, it's been resolved, or they've been pretty minimal. It's been, like, a broken bone, or, like a surgery from a knee. You know, those were the some of the major things I've had, okay, got it fascinating, yeah. And honestly, like, when I think about, like my parents and my upbringing, and like what I'm exposed to my parents and my especially, my mom had cancer. My dad's had cancer, my aunt had cancer, and they were all very comfortable with the Western medicine. So there was never any debate, or should we do something alternative? So I've never really, in a way, questioned it or needed it for myself.

Janelle Orion 10:47

And living with oriona has like opened my world to what feels like magic, feels like woo. And I'm not even gonna pretend to describe homeopathy, but I will say it feels to be a vibrational medicine that is helping heal at the emotional and energetic level. You say that one more time, it's a vibrational medicine that helps heal us at the emotional and energetic level. Can you give us in a couple of examples of homeopathy in your experience so far? Well, the one thing I've started taking is sambucus, which is black elderberry, and you take that prior to being sick. So I'm taking it like prophylactically. It's like, every day during the winter season to avoid getting sick. And now, of course, like, I haven't gotten sick, but that doesn't mean like, that's the thing that's the thing that's doing yet, but it feels really like great in my system that, oh, that's all I'm taking is this, like, little gummy of this black elderberry, and it was also recommended to me by my, like, friend's mom in the same time frame, who's her father, who lived 102 to took every day. So I was like, okay, okay, okay. So then we went to sprouts, and there's a section at Sprouts that is, like, homeopathic, yeah. Like, what? Like, I never walked through this section. I was like, totally in a new world. And, like, for $10 you buy these little things and these remedies. So I actually can't speak to much more than this, because I have, she hasn't, like, prescribed them to me, other than she, well, it's not true. She muscle tested me. She was like, Oh, I'm really getting the sign that you need Borax. And so she read all of the symptoms. And I was like, well, the only thing on there is canker sores that I could relate to. And she's like, Well, do you? And I was like, but I get really bad canker sores when I'm on. I get bad canker sores, but especially when I'm on, MDMA, Oh, really. Oh, my God, that's that's so interesting. You always get them, the next day or something, yes, and I had just taken that, like, the week before, and my mouth was like, covered, and I was like, Oh my gosh, it's so painful. So somehow she didn't know. And so in the end, she was like, Okay, well, I guess you should take this every time you decide, yeah, that is so funny. But the more though, like, more like, the like, what is that? All she does muscle test me. We hadn't had a conversation about it. She went through all the different ones, and that's the one that showed up. So it feels like magic to me. But what also feels really revelatory was what she was telling me is, this is why the FDA doesn't promote this, is that these remedies are essentially $10 right? Like, there's so little in terms of cost that, like the pharmaceutical companies clearly are not in favor of this, so it's just opened my eyes to it. I am like, Wow. I didn't know anything about this, so I'm in the process of learning about it. I'm not suggesting everyone leave their doctors to go into this this exact moment, but it's very possible I will at some point, because I believe in like, what she's telling me, and her skill set and her knowledge so deeply that now, instead of her just being the goddess temple Director of Operations and events, which is when she first came in, What I had kind of hired her for I'm now hiring her for her doctor skills, so that she can help our goddess temple and Braveheart community of the women and families that are close to us, you included, to help us be as healthy as possible at this energetic and emotional level. And so I'll have more to share probably at the end of next quarter. Yeah, this is a big update. I'm really curious about the cost, because I my experience of of this kind of supplements is not cheap. So, yeah, I'm really curious if that continues for you, like the things that you're buying. I. And I would be curious to see what happens with your flu. Like, do you usually get a flu shot or not? I used to a long time ago. I've stopped, though, so I have it in a while. Yeah, it'd be good to do a a b test on that. I don't, I don't think I can, like, stake my like, stand in the ground on whether I get the flu right or not, right, but, yeah, just thinking about it. Okay, all right, great. So that is a pretty significant shift in how you take care of your body, and kind of just it more like knowing you're more in choice potentially than you were before. What it's revealing to me is this idea of, like, I hear this like physical, and here's this like mental, right? But that she's showing me that there's actually this emotional and energetic that she has the capacity to sense, which, for me, is an erotic wellness practitioner, after working with so many bodies over the past several years, I have the ability to see energy now too, so I can understand that what she's talking about like being able to see energy blocks or feel them, or however you want to talk about it, but in her case, right, she has this scientific knowledge behind seeing when she sees an energy block, my what I'm hearing, I think, Is that you both see energy. You both see various kinds of energy, blocks and pathways, and whatever you call however you describe these energies, and you both have different ways to make them more radiant, to make them come alive, to enhance them, to help them to flow right, like, release the stuckness, so that they're so the energy is flowing. I see. Okay, got it? Because you're doing this through touch, and she's doing it through medicine. Yes, Dr bag is, like, extensive and much more than even a traditional naturopathic doctor, because she has the erotic side to it as well. So she's really bringing in a lot of different skill sets when she is assessing someone's energetic well being. Wow. Yeah, fascinating. Okay, I'm thinking of this doc this, like old fashioned doctor bag that I got once that sat in my basement for a long time because I just couldn't resist buying it at this garage sale in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin. I feel role play. I feel role play. I should have kept it and given it, given it to oriona. And do you know the only thing in this doctor kit was a tiny, little glass antique that was, in fact, I had checked this piece was, in fact, for a fake eye, it's to put your fake eye in. Whoa, that's so crazy. Anyway, just going down a doctor path there. Okay, really exciting new roommate, oriona, opening up your world to a different way to take care of your body, and really just she's also, it seems like weaving this connection between mental energy, physical energy, emotional energy and erotic and erotic energy. Okay, both of us consider ourselves erotic wellness practitioners, right? And so she like she's expressing it differently than I do, but just in the way that there's different doctors and stuff, like, it's this, oh, like we're both working with the erotic she's adding more to that as well. And it's about our wellness, inherently, because I have such a believer in that, to be a whole human, we need to have our physical wellness and our mental wellness, which our society acknowledges, as well as our erotic wellness, and without that, we don't feel whole. We don't feel fully human. I missed how oriona connects to the erotic. So she's also a dominatrix and a tantrica, and so she is brings in whatever like she doesn't limit to like, Oh, I'm seeing this person for this thing, and this person for this thing. She is like, this whole medicine bag and like, looks at the person in front of her and says, Okay, this is what this person needs, and this combination of these things. And doesn't limit herself to saying, I'm only allowed to do these things versus these things. Got it? Okay? Understood. Okay, what else is going on? I celebrated sawin this year in a new way. Sawin is the Gaelic festival that celebrates the Day of the Dead. So it happens around October 31 November 1 timing. Saw when, as a term, means summer's end. And while we, you know, celebrate four seasons, typically in olden days, it was two seasons. It was the like harvest or the growing season, which would have been summer, and then it would have been the winter season. In which would have been in the dark, in the Gaelic tradition, San win is summer's end. And then Beltane, which is celebrated around May 1, is the one that starts, you know, winter's end going into summer. I don't remember what that translates to as a term. And my teacher on this topic, John will stone, I sat in on a two hour workshop with him, and he described the significance of like of going inward during the winter months. There was a ritual that you can do called an ancestors feast. And there's different terms for this, but I'm going to use the term ancestors feast,

Janelle Orion 20:41

and I hosted my first one this year, and it was really beautiful. And the concept of an ancestors feast is this time of the year, of end of October into November, even into December. The idea is that the veils are really thin, meaning that the distance between the seen and the unseen world is very thin, like the land of our ancestors the land of the spirits. So this is a time the ancestors uses an opportunity to remember them, and when we remember our ancestors, we're feeding them. It is like a nourishment for them, and it's how by giving them offerings, right? It's a way of being in relationship to these beings. In the past several years, Damas or germane, is someone else who's really opened my eyes to the ancestor world, to recognize that we're not walking alone as a human that's alive just because we can see each other, that there are all these spirits that, as Damasus says, we have at least 2500 ancestors walking behind us. For every human on the planet, there's 2500 ancestors per or more, and that these are a huge resource. Luna, the sorceress who lived here last year, would also say that unless, if we don't acknowledge the resource that our ancestors are beneath our feet like we're standing on their shoulders, then we don't feel very stable in this world. And so it's in the past couple of years from these different people that I have my have had my awareness open to building an intentional relationship with my ancestors. This particular ancestor feast I was called to co host it with my witchy friend, Cassie Giggs, and she is a pagan and a witch, and so she brought in some new elements that I learned about. But overall, this is a very sacred dinner, and it's a dinner party, and we had people come over and, you know, and what John said, like, the basic inherent rules are that you make a dinner or make a make a dish that's either the favorite dish of one of your ancestors or a dish from the land of your lineage. And when you're making the dish, you cook it in ritual, so you light a candle and you pour your love and intentions into it, and the important thing is not to taste it, because the first bite is designed to go to the ancestors, so you're just trusting that you're cooking is gonna turn out. Okay. Oh, interesting, yes. And in my case, I chose to make corned beef and cabbage, which I don't normally make, and so just had to trust it, nod to my Irish ancestors. And then I made gingersnap cookies, which my grandmother memea used to make on my Canadian side. So those are the two things that I made. John had said. The other piece of this is that you want to invite in your healed and well, ancestors, not all of our ancestors are healed and well, unless you have enough experience and you feel comfortable calling someone in. And so my grandmother, on my dad's side, she took her own life 77 years ago, like a really long time ago and has not been really mentioned in our family. And after having been in the practice of honoring my ancestors now for a couple of years, I felt called to bring her in. And again, like, was I called? Was I my mind calling it? Or was it like the timing? Like, I can't say it was like a conscious decision. It was like, Oh, this is what's presenting itself. So I ended up talking to my dad about her and asking if she had any favorite meals. And what he remembered was that she loved to smoke, and it was lucky strikes, and she liked to have a beer. She was the center of the park. Already she could. She loved to sing and play the piano and get everyone going. So I bought a pack of cigarettes and I bought a beer. So I had those for her, and then I bought a fire pit, because the idea is that as you the first plate of food, then you offer to the sacred fire. So coming back to Sawan in this festival at summer's end, the community gets together, winter's starting, it's going to be cold, and they start a fire, and then everyone from the village would take an ember from that fire and then start the fire in their home. So in this way, there's one fire that goes the whole winter long, and that everyone in the village is connected through the sacred fire. So I bought a fire pit in the backyard, and all of us then had an opportunity to, you know, put our first dish and offering to our ancestors into into the fire pit. But earlier that day, and I had told my dad that I was doing this, like, you know, weeks leading up to it, and that day, I said, Oh yeah, I'm doing the ancestors feast today. And he's like, oh. He's like, I was just talking to Uncle Jim, my dad's twin, and in this was a November 2. And he was like, it was our mom's birthday today. So the mother that I so like his mother, the one I just said I was calling in who took her own life. This is the first time, oh, my God, it was her birthday on the day for doing this ancestors feast. Oh, my God, that's so crazy. Yes, yes, wow. So she would have been 123 born in 19 oh, two, we think what was her name? And so her name was Dorothy Bridget, McNulty, Kenny, and she went by dot. And so I decided I would call her grandma.my grandpa Jim, who died two years after her from natural causes. But so like my parent, my dad's parents have been dead for so long, yeah, so when I realized it was her birthday that day, then we around the fire, I put candles into cookies, the cookies that I made in honor of my other grandmother. So this is a way to, like, bring these two lines of my lineage together, and then there were six of us around the fire, and we smoked cigarettes and drank the beer and sang her happy birthday. And it felt so significant, so and part of the lesson that John woolstone was saying is that you can feed the ancestors lots of things. You can feed them chocolate, you can feed them alcohol, you can feed them tobacco, flowers, all sorts of things. But really, what they're fed off of is memories and being spoken about. So after so that, so then the idea was, then we sat down for the meal together. Everyone again, got the food that we were gonna eat for ourselves. We did 10 minutes of noble silence, where we just sat with our food in silence, and then we started sharing stories. But during that 10 minutes of silence, I just started weeping. And what came through me was this feeling that from my grandma dot, that she just didn't know it was going to take so long to be remembered. And I really felt like the weight of that, the gift of that, the honoring of her, it really impacted me. And then the silence broke, and then we, all, you know, shared our stories about the meals and the food and the ancestors that we wanted to talk to. And it was really a really, really beautiful evening. And you know, certainly recommend it to others to do. But I will also say that since doing that, you know, I let my family know that I had done this. I started calling grandma dot. I told other people. I said, Here's grandma dot. This is the story. Here's grandpa Jim, and mentioning them. And I really so in the this is about, we're mid December, so it's been about a month since I did this. My dad has talked about her more than I've ever heard him talk about remembering her my since then, my uncle has passed away, and so he's now become an ancestor, and I, like, I feel like a relationship to that, like their mom is now ready to receive them. It feels like when he when Uncle Jim was passing,

Janelle Orion 29:58

like the family was getting. Together, and I was here in Denver. He was in New Hampshire, and I just had candles lit in vigil, which is what damassa has taught me, and had a picture up of him, and really felt like I was holding point for our family, for this relationship to the other what's on the other side of the veil, which is all new for me, like this isn't something I've ever done before. This is other than in the past few years, and being taught and exposed to it really. So it feels beautiful and significant and a real a real blessing, because I can feel how, especially with my dad and his mom. We've had a lot of great conversations about how his mom was such a great mom, and that we know that, like so much of our our life is shaped by our childhood, right? And like our relationship with our parents, and he had a great relationship with them, and this all happened when he and Uncle Jim went to college, so they were already had left the house, and so there was this again, like life just started for them in a new way. And so I just really felt the honoring of her being a great mother, and had done her duty in that realm, in that role. Wow, brave hearts, let's just take a deep breath that was, that was a big it's a lot. It was a big story. It's a very poignant connection that you just created with, yeah, with the other side, yeah. It's definitely been part of my journey for the past few years, and this felt like a sweet milestone of the journey. Do you want to say anything about your dad and where he's at right now and his experience of his twin passing away? Yes, my dad just turned 95 his identical mirror twin passed away the week before, and I'm not a twin. I have no idea what that's like, right to like, you know, even though my dad has a very much of a comfortable relationship, I would say, with death and heaven and that regard. You know, who knows what's gonna happen. And my dad has really been in it for the past couple of weeks, of of grief, also of confusion, but also of this beautiful awakening that's happening. And my my sense is, is that Uncle Jim is on the other side, being like, Yo, bro. Let me tell you what it's all about, and it's like downloads, which I'm conveying with the joy that I feel about it, but does not get, actually get expressed in that same way, like it's like the learning and the feeling and the receiving of the information is a little bit more, yeah, confusing for a 95 year old, but in any case, it's it's a very special time, and I feel the gift of death. I feel the gift of my uncle's life. It was a life well lived, a life well loved, and that the two of them together created this family of their individual families, and then our overall extended family that has such love for one another and care and appreciation. And I just felt the uniqueness and the gift of all of that tying that back to that, like they got that from their parents, right, these two people that I have not met who have been gone for so long onto the other side, and yet that's trickling down. So in any case, my dad is in an interesting time right now. I'll probably have another report in three months, but it's a really, I would say, he's in a little bit of a liminal state.

Andrea Enright 33:58

Janelle, I remember you talking about an aha moment or an appreciation of life that you had when your Uncle Jim was struggling in the last few weeks of his life. And can you share a little bit about that?

Janelle Orion 34:14

Yes, so my Uncle Jim was and by the way, when he passed, he's still married. Aunt Janet still alive. They were married for 65 years and in the nursing home together. So my dad is very mobile. Doesn't have any assisted devices to work, to use, to walk around in. Our Uncle Jim, for the past several years, has been in a wheelchair. He is on dialysis three times a week. He his eyesight had gone a little bit. He was starting to, like, lose his hearing a little bit. And so, in a way, right, like it was like, oh, maybe it's time, kind of feeling he was in the hospital for an infection. And when the time came to. Asked. They realized his throat had closed and that he was going to need a feeding tube. And so the family was asked that they wanted to put a feeding tube in. And there was a debate amongst the family, but Uncle Jim ended up being coherent enough to be able to answer, and he said, Yes, he wanted a feeding tube. And that moment was so significant for me because it showed me how I judged what is the definition of quality of life. And here is this man who this is his life. He's living it, and he's choosing to keep living. And I felt the deep gift of that, that, you know, even as he was dying, that he was showing how much like life is worth living for, no matter what it looks like. And then ultimately, you know, he still passed away. But that could, that choice point was there, and he also then chose to die as well. He was, he was in choice the whole time. Beautiful. All right, Janelle, is there anything else you'd like to share for your update? The other thing that I did this quarter have been in two different courses. One was Sophie Howells, maker of the Spirit crown, also a multi talented artist and coach in her language of empowerment, week long challenge. And the language of empowerment talks about how our words are spells, and that we invoke the world that is around us. And being in that week long challenge. I know you're in it right now. Andrea, you just started. It has been so impactful and helping me see how I can seed doubt and possibility of failure in my own sabotage through my language. So I highly recommend that, and so again, look up Sophie howell.com to learn more about that. But one of the things that then also happened was, I'm in another course called our dark divinity. It's a book that's written by Bruce Lyon and Janelle Marie, and these teachings are like deeply spiritual for me. They're called the trans Himalayan esoteric Mystery School teachings. A lot of words there. The words don't even really matter, because for me, I just am aware that I'm an embodiment of these teachings. And there is an actual in person Mystery School in New Zealand, and twice a year, there's a cohort that meets for six weeks. And I have two dear friends who were asked to assist at the cohort, the spring cohort this year. And so they said that to me, and I felt myself go. And they said, Okay, well, do you want to go? I can feel it. And I was like, I was like, Well, we'll see. Like, you know, like, if the universe wants me to go, it'll, like, work itself out in my head. I'm like, this is six weeks. We have podcast recordings. I'm, they've got the goddess temple to maintain. I need to make money coming in. Like, you know, there's, it's, this is not a like, plus, have to pay for the actual experience, right? But then, like, a day or two later, I remember being like Janelle. You know, this is not how it works. The universe is not the one initiating. It's my desires that initiate. Then the universe responds to me. It's participatory, yeah, yes. And so it's like, do I desire to go? And if I desire to go, then I need to speak that desire out loud. I need to let not only the universe hear it, but I need to let all the people in my world know about it so that and then the support will come in order for it to happen. But it was really I realized. I remember talking to you Andrea, and I was like, Oh God, I'm going to tell her I want to do this, and I'm going to like, that's going to require us to change our schedule, and you're going to have to, like, accommodate me and all of these things. And I realized I felt the like, constriction of like, how big the ask was, yeah. And you're like, Great, yeah, I know. I'm like, of course, you're going to Haydn. I'll work it out. So the more I speak it out loud, the more people know that I'm going and I can like, it's just all like aligning. I still choose to know how the finances and all that are going to work out, but it doesn't. It doesn't matter, in a way, because I am trusting as I continue to practice the process, through an experience with my DOM, I got the message like a download that one of the technologies and weapons, if you will, of spreading love and freedom throughout the world is. Having people figure out what it is they want and how to ask for it. Yes, this is what it feels like to me. Now, what I want isn't like the eye of me, it's, oh, there's a fabric, and that's like a beautiful pattern, and my desire is just my part of that pattern, but in order for the pattern to like play itself out, then every My desire is part of a larger fabric of desires, and that if I deny myself my desire, I'm denying something else, for someone else or from what the universe wants. Like, it's we're like, we're all linked together. It can feel sometimes selfish. This is one of the things around like asking for what we want. But I've been really tying it into, oh, it's actually selfish. If I don't ask, there's a desire that is moving through me, that is my heart's desire, that it feels like really is the truth of me. Then not asking is actually denying the world something that it wants That's fascinating. I'm just like, receiving that.

Andrea Enright 41:04

This is funny, this. This is what I have when I'm in conversation now, in short conversation with people as I meet or, like, we're not in a space where I'm really going to talk about what I do. This is just what I say. It's like, what do you do? I help people figure out what they want and ask for it. And it's such a nice way to just like, boil it down to that, yeah, what I hear you saying too is you're asking for what you want.

Janelle Orion 41:28

It's also permission to ask for help. Yes, because I can't do it alone. Yeah, none of my desires can, can actually happen on their own. Right. Like me going to Haydn impacts you. Me going to Haydn impacts oriona. Me going to Haydn impacts my dad. It impacts my brother. It impacts Sandy. Like everyone is impacted. So they have are I'm asking for their willingness to help me. Yeah, it's really interesting. And I think this is such a big part of I've just got this kind of, oh, this of the permission coaching that I do, which is people are worried, like, ah, but if I do this, it's going to impact so many people, so I can't do it right? And so it's really reframing that to say, No, you're actually doing this, and you're asking them to help and support you to do this, and we actually receive a gift when we have the opportunity to help someone get their desires and what they want. Yeah, interesting. There's an interesting nugget there. Beautiful. Okay, Haydn. I didn't think you said the word Haydn, but it is called Haydn, correct. Yes, okay, yeah, okay. Haydn is the name of the school. It's in New Zealand. I'll be going in the spring, and I'll be able to report back. I'm beautiful, I'm sure. Okay, what else is that? Anything else? I think that was it. I feel pretty complete. Yeah, yeah, that was there's a lot of shit happening in three months, actually, but this is how it goes. Thanks for sharing, Janelle. So much to chew on there. And, yes, beautiful. I'm also a big fan of Sophie Howell. She's been an amazing coach for me, which I didn't get to say, Gosh, why don't you just do a little like, plug for, for what's going on, for your business, like, Where can, how can people reach you? Feel free to check out my website. Feel wildly alive.com. That is my erotic wellness practitioner site. There's a video on there. It shows how I work with people. I work with monogamous couples and individuals, and I help them also, like I teach touch based pleasure and intimacy experiences so that people can have an embodied experience of asking for what they want and receiving it beautiful. So that's a feel wildly alive.com. Great. Oh, thank you, Janelle, yay and brave hearts, in case you're like, what's she doing in her dating world? Not to worry. Next season, which is starting just a couple of weeks is season six. Is how to design a relationship that works, and so I'll tell you all about my unconventional dating life. Just wait. Thanks, brave hearts, we'll see you in season six. Ciao, for now, we love you.

Janelle Orion 44:19

Hey, brave hearts, looking for permission. Work with us. Andrea offers permission coaching, and Janelle offers erotic wellness sessions. Follow us on Instagram, meet us in real life at permission to be human workshops in Denver. Subscribe to our newsletter. Do all this and more at our website. Permission to be human. Dot live You. You.